Is it safe to blog again?There's not been much fun to blog about lately I'm afraid; and there hasn’t been much free time to write for a long while. I've been working long days, and Saturdays too, and weeknights when I get home it’s dark and the cold gets to me. I have little energy or enthusiasm. Even if I did think to write, I am hesitant to share my bleak and unhappy self with others.
Winter seems to get me more blue each year. This time my depression has dipped even into the realms of anxiety and paranoia. A little voice in my head is saying things like only my cats could really love me, and that's because they don't understand me. I know, how stupid. I may take it with a grain of salt, and yet it disturbs me that I can even joke about such things.
But I'm writing today, this Sunday night. And I think that might be because I'm feeling a little better.
Still I hold my optimism close to me, as if it were like a tiny precious flame that might blow out at any minute. Let’s see what tomorrow brings.
That may sound like morbid curiosity, or maybe it’s really some kind of hope.
As for that Dusty boy, he's a shy and skittish cat. Roger and I think he may have come from an abusive home. But I think he's learned to trust us both more than any other humans he's ever known. I think animals can know and understand us in ways that may be missed by other people. The fact that even "just" a cat loves me really does count for something.
2 comments:
Hold onto whatever love you can find and trust even if it's from "just your cats." Even a small flame lights the darkness...and you'd be surprised how many people hear you speak, even if you think no one's listening.
Always nice to see you blogging my friend. Winter is a depressing time but please know in your heart that you are blessed with friends who LOVE you for who you are and keep that knowledge tucked in your heart and as fuel for your flame of hope and optimism.
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